- Author: Chester Drawers
- Category: comment
Super Injunctions
Following a recent spate of leaks, texts and tweets the government is under pressure from various lobby groups to tighten the privacy laws. A spokesman for a major celebrity and/or a reality television contestant was quoted as saying, “The way things are going my client and hundreds like him, her or it will soon be treated as no more than a member of the general public!”
A court order has been issued on behalf of a major sports star that forbids any mention of their name, club, profession or star sign. In a separate development an injunction brought out by the lawyers of a so called actor in an unnamed soap opera has made it illegal to make any mention of their real or stage name, career, talent or credibility. A member of parliament has managed to win an injunction banning any use of the words ‘corrupt’, ‘immoral’ or ‘lying Tory scum’ and a leading magistrate and mason has issued on his/her own behalf a ban on anything ever said or to be said by him or herself in perpetuity.
In further developments, seen by some as one-upmanship, a major British football club has banned any mention of it or any of its players in the media including sports journalism and match commentary, a leading monarch of an unnamed royal family has been granted a super dooper injunction banning anyone thinking anything nasty about them and a firm of hedge traders has brought out a super, dooper, party pooper injunction banning all reports and/or words connected to or with the possibility of being connected to itself including ‘super’ (and any of its compounds ‘Superman’, ‘supermarket’ etc) and ‘injunction’ (‘unction’, ‘conjunction’, ‘Clapham Junction’ etc)
A commentator who pointed out the insanity of the current system has been summarily executed and his head left on a spike outside the Royal Courts of Justice until such time that everybody learns not to notice it.
